We're kicking off the Hope Revival with a ​pep talk for us highly sensitive empaths. If you struggle to keep your light lit, if you want some idea on how to ​hold on to hope in a world on fire and you generally want to feel less alone, this one's for you!

Transcript:

Hello, and welcome to day one of the Hope revival. You have so much fun shit to look forward to over the next 28 days. And I thought it might be helpful to kick off with a bit of a discussion about why it can be so hard being an empath in the world and some different things that can really help. What you're going to find over the next 28 days is a toolkit of loads of different things that can really help you survive the world, especially when it feels like the world is on fire or you feel quite despondent and you feel a bit hopeless. And also, especially as a sensitive person who gives a shit about people, a shit about the world, and you believe things can and should be better around these parts. We tend to be massive empaths. We care a lot about other people. Our values are incredibly important to us.

 
And I just wanted to start up by saying that that in itself can be a huge challenge when we're living in a world where awful things are happening by people that don't share our values or are the absolute antithesis of our values, and we don't necessarily feel like we have the power to change things at the level that they need to be changed at. As empaths, we're a bit of an emotional sponge and we can't necessarily turn it off even if we wanted to. And I know for myself the times when I feel unaffected by something or I intentionally try to switch it off, I end up feeling like a pretty shitty human. And I also don't want to be that way. I like that I give a shit. I like that I care. And there has to be some kind of an alternative to surviving in the world without completely shutting the doors on the world and pretending it doesn't exist or becoming so desensitized and normalized to all this awful shit happening now. There is no one easy answer to all of this, and I certainly don't have all the answers in, even though I wish I could so I could spread them far and wide.

 
But what I do know is that a big part about how we survive this world as empaths and highly sensitive people and people who give a shit, is by keeping our own lights lit as well. And it is the fact that we're empaths and we're highly sensitive, and we do care so much that often we invalidate our own feelings and our own needs because we look at the world around us and we compare our needs and our own struggles to other people's, and we just end up feeling like we should be grateful for the problems that we have. And we can end up completely disregarding our own needs or end up thinking that having any needs in general is selfish. Now, there are some people in the world that could very much do with a bit of a perspective shift when it comes to complete ignorance at what's going on in the world and a focus on their problems and nobody else's. But that's not us. If anything, we care too much. And I think sometimes we do it at our own detriment. Now believe me, I am not trying to get you to care less.

 
That is not what this is about. I'm just trying to find a way of how do we get to not only survive in this world, but thrive thrive in this world when it does often feel heavy, uncertain, and it feels like sometimes all hope is lost. Now, I worked in the nonprofit world for quite a long time and I burned out seriously hard. And I quite quickly found that I couldn't just run on enthusiasm alone, especially when I was completely ignoring my own needs. When I was a student, I was a huge feminist activist and I remember the walls to my bedroom literally being covered in leaflet after leaflet of different projects and campaigns around the world. And I did it very much out of a place of reminding myself of what was important to me. And I really found a lot of purpose in that. But what I also found is that if I was having a shit day, I basically wouldn't allow myself to have a shit day because I'd look at the world around me and wonder how on earth I could be so selfish.

 
I certainly didn't put my own needs on the table. I definitely crammed them into a box, put it under the bed and hoped I'd forget all about them. And this did not serve me very well. And I also knew I wasn't alone in that. I could see so many activists and colleagues around me putting everything they had to the causes they believed in, but ultimately having to stop in some way or another because their needs were completely removed from the situation and it was just completely unsustainable. Now the reason I'm sharing this with you is because when it comes to the keeping your own light lit thing, I'm not coming at it from a fluffy woo woo self care kind of thing. A bit like how self care has massively been co opted and become so commercialized and all about bubble baths. That's not the answer.

 
But what I am saying is that if we are humans that care deeply about the world and that want to make a difference and want to continue doing so, then at some point we have to make ourselves part of the equation. Recently I've been reading Oliver Berkman's Meditations for Mortals. There's one section where he puts words to something that I've been trying to find for years. So in the particular section he's talking about how we spend our days and choosing how we spend our days. And he says there's no prize for failing to spend your time as you wish, to whatever extent you're able, out of a misplaced sense of solidarity with those who cannot. And it was quite a hard lesson that I learned myself because I realized that denying my own needs and completely, to be honest, neglecting myself, maybe I think it was out of a misplaced sense of solidarity. But that solidarity wasn't helping anyone, let alone the people who needed it. And at best what was happening was that I was draining my own resources and I couldn't make a huge difference while I was seriously burning myself out.

 
Now, this isn't to say that we should just look after ourselves from a place of being able to help more people, although the two do coincide with each other nicely. But it's also about allowing yourself to have those moments of joy and to savor those moments when life feels good and life feels beautiful. Even though there's a lot going on in the world. And a huge, huge part of thriving in the world as an empath and a highly sensitive person is being able to live in that nuance of yes, and your friend can be going through a really shitty time and you can be really enjoying your new relationship. There might be something horrific going on in the world and you can stop on a sunny day and take in the view. It does not make you a bad human. It just means that you are a human living in this very, very complicated world. There's also a great argument to be had for joy being an act of rebellion.

 
I know adrienne maree brown talks about pleasure activism, which they define as the word work we do to reclaim our whole happy and satisfiable selves from the impacts, delusions and limitations of oppression and or supremacy. And that is hugely rebellious because there are many people and businesses and corporations in the world that hugely profit in so many different ways from our own self doubt, our own self hatred, our disconnection from ourselves, and would prefer us to be just completely exhausted and despondent all the time. That way we are easier to control. So the first thing I want you to think about is what if the answer to feeling hopeless is to really focus on joy, to focus on filling ourselves up. Not just self care, but community care. And intentionally really trying to live in a way that we feel most us as an act of resistance. Because I don't know about you, but when I feel most me, I can do more good. I'm nicer to be around, I'm more intentional and thoughtful about all of my actions, and I'm much more likely and able to use my gifts to make a difference.

 
And that's also pretty self perpetuating. And it's a pretty good place to be for so many of us. Taking time to do things for ourselves or putting ourselves first sounds so selfish, but I think in many ways it makes us more resourced human beings who are ultimately able to do more good and also live more fulfilling lives as well. Now that is not to say that you have to rally up as much energy as you can in order to be the most helpful human being you possibly can. I just want to be clear, that is not what I'm saying. It just happens to be quite a happy accident. And I think it's also worth. The second thing to think about is really choosing the things that matter to you and choosing the way you use your own unique gifts.

 
We know that we cannot carry the world on our shoulders, and we know that we can't be everything to everyone. And when it comes to making a difference, there's an element of trust in it that you own in on a particular issue or a particular problem. Knowing that many other people are focusing on the issues that you're not trusting. That is enough. During the process of creating the Hope Revival, my goodness, I have been astounded at the amount of projects there are all over the world with fabulous humans doing fabulous things and also how good humans are. It's really easy to see the world through the lens of our phones and just believe that everything has gone to shit and that we're all doomed. But I truly do not believe that is the case. And I'm a pretty fucking cynical human being to start off with.

 
Know that when you're having a hard day, you're simply passing the baton onto another very capable human. And that you're allowed to have hard days and they are also to be expected. And speaking of having hard days, you're also allowed to process your grief. You are allowed to process how hard the world is, and you are allowed to feel overwhelmed by it all. You may have loved ones who call you too sensitive or think that you are an idealist or an optimist. But if believing that things could be and should be different makes us optimists, idealists and dreamers, then let's fucking claim that, as you'll see as we go on this journey together, there is so much to be hopeful about. There are so many great things happening in the world, and there are things that you can do. And I think the first couple of things we can do are, number one, invite joy to the party.

 
And also accept that maybe this is hard, because it is hard. You're not doing anything wrong. It is also not firmly on your shoulders to fix the world. Change happens through a lot of tiny actions. And we're more likely to do those tiny actions when we're feeling resourced. So that's what we're going to concentrate on, bringing back a sense of hope. I'm going to share a load of tiny ways that you can feel a lot more resourced. I'm going to share things that you can do to get yourself through a really shitty day, as well as share a bunch of shit that is hopefully really going to restore your faith in humanity.

 
You are way more powerful than you think you are. People tend to be way kinder than you think they might be. And sometimes the brightest things can happen during the darkest days. I'm so excited you're here. Protect your time and energy fiercely, as they are two of the most precious resources you have. And please know that you are already making much more of a difference than you think you are. And I'm going to be diving way deeper into that right at the end of the Hope revival. Now let's go find some hope.

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